It’s Not You, It’s Me | When It’s Time to Move On

I will tell you it’s not you, but in the end, it might be you. Sometimes, in the workplace, you have to be the bigger person and determine when it’s time to move on, after all, nothing lasts forever. This isn’t an easy thing to decide, nor one to be taken lightly, but it’s something so many in their early-thirties start contemplating. This is the prime time for growth, salary increases, and setting the tone for the rest of your career.

New job. New relationship. New start.
New job. New relationship. New start.

If you are having more days than not that involve wanting to bang your head against a desk, or breathing into a brown paper bag (or hell, drinking from one), it may be time to spruce up your resume and start networking like a fiend again.

Wondering how to get back in the game?

  1. Present your best self(ie). If you can splurge on some brand name purse, you can afford to take professional headshots. Hire someone. Find the right outfit, and make your LinkedIn profile visually appealing – but also representative of you and your industry. If you are in the creative field, it’s okay to dress the way you would in the office. If you are corporate, stick with a suit and solid colors.
  2. Write like a copywriter. Stop with the generic resumes. Revamp it. If you work in a creative field, hire a creative to rework/layout your resume. It’s the best $250 you can spend. Make sure to list your accomplishments, actual corporate growth as a result of your efforts, and industry awards or accolades. Make your work history work for you. Don’t exaggerate unless you can speak to it during an interview – comfortably.
  3. Get out there. Networking sucks. But it can be fun if you don’t try too hard. Start going out more, start asking people where they work, attend your professional organizations events (Ad Club, American Marketing Association, PRSA, you name it – your career field has them). Your friends and networks are probably very happy to help you, especially if you would be willing to help them or have in the past. Let people know that you are gainfully employed, but starting to look at what else is out there.
  4. Stay calm and collected. One of my most influential and intriguing colleagues, is ironically a few years younger, and one of the most calm and collected, confident and assertive people I know. We met recently and prior to even sipping my beer, he said ‘can I offer you some career advice? You always lose your shit and get so anxious about things – just relax. Breathe. Let it go and then react if you actually need to.’ I so badly wanted to punch him, but the worst part was that I knew he was 100% right. This advice is true in the thick of your career, but especially important as things get tough and you get wandering eyes. DON’T LOSE YOUR MIND (in public).
  5. Develop coping mechanisms until you make your exit. Per my fourth suggestion, days may challenge you in ways you aren’t ready to deal with. If things are changing faster than you can get a grip on, and so much is beyond your control, take breaks during your day. Spend five minutes and go on a walk. Call someone. Reorganize your spotify playlists. Snap someone that gets you. Laugh. Do something. But don’t sit and get fuming mad. This backfires.
  6. Trust no one. Well, except maybe a select few. Leaving a job is something that should be carefully mapped out, especially your exit strategy. No one wants to leave because the entire company already thinks you are on the way out. Or HR says, ‘we heard you aren’t happy here and want to help you out.’ Slow your roll a bit, and count to ten (yes, seriously) before feeling the need to vent or tell someone you aren’t thrilled. It will come back to bite you in the ass. Practice your professionalism – even if it’s the hardest thing you have to do.
  7. Stick to your guns. When you finally decide it’s time for a change, don’t let anyone but your gut make that decision for you. Decide why you are leaving – is it money? Lack of growth? Challenges with employees or the way teams are structured? Clients? Or do you want tif-in-doubt-begino try something completely new? In many of these cases, you simply have to move on. But, if you go put your notice in, and your current company decides to throw money at you, make sure you aren’t emotionally influenced with what to do. You started looking for a reason. Don’t forget it.
  8. Give them a reason to miss you. Relationships and work are two in the same. There are many days where I want to be like – ‘oh, yeah, well f you, f you, and F YOU.” But, again, back to #4. It’s totally insane and opposite of why a company or person made you become so loyal, grow together, fall in love, and learn so much – even if you’ve fallen out of love. When you ‘breakup’ with your company, make it so they are devastated to see you go, that they will continue to think about you, and wonder what they could have done to keep you. They may never know, or they might – but leave it for a tasteful exit interview.

If this is a reality for you, hang in there. There are a lot of tough days – but you’ll most likely learn so much about yourself as you start to regain your happiness and do whats best for you. Lean on your mentors, your friends, and your parents to listen and help – and in the end, know that it will all work out because you wouldn’t settle for anything less.



Summer Sabbatical. Hit the Reset.

If there is one thing that makes me think I need to pack my bags and head to San Diego, it’s the summer. The minute I feel 65+ degrees, I’m windows open, music up, and water bound. Maybe I’d get bored after a few months of it… but that is a big maybe.IMG_3371

This summer came at a time when I needed it most. It’s been a year of hard work, all leading up to a time of confusion. For the Millennial Mom, it’s usually go, go, go until you literally hit rock bottom, forget who you are, and start to fall apart. This can come at the expense of relationships, your ability to get promoted, your role as a mom, daughter, sister, friend. But mostly at the expense of yourself.

I read a lot – sometimes middle of the night to make myself feel better about others going through similar situations, other times to learn how to navigate often tricky situations in the workplace, and I stumbled across some of my favorite writers and mentors from past years, well, 10 years ago. Nicole William’s was everything to me as a senior in college. I went to meet her, I read her books, I believed them to be all I knew about business, especially coming from a family in medicine, far from the business world.

I will never forget when she took a sabbatical from her career, I was devastated but also intrigued. How can someone so powerful, with so much to share take a step back? But she did. She decided to have a baby – on her own – and after a couple months, came back with a vengeance.

Her books spoke to me – Girl on Top (dating advice + career). Wildly Sophisticated. Earn What You’re Worth. Now, as P&G’s Confidence Coach, a regular Huff Post columnist, segments on the Today Show, and so much more – I continue to watch her thrive. One of her posts that resonated most with me was the idea of reinvention. Some of us do it often. Others need to. Here’s what I’m doing this summer to make certain I don’t crash and burn in my career:

  1. Write more. I get to start contributing to a website next month – aimed at profiling successful women – despite their trials/tribulations in work, marriage, life and showing the perspective of 40 year olds, and what they wish they had known at 20. Will share more soon.
  2. Work less. As in 45 hours. I travel enough. Worked A LOT in the fall and winter, albeit, fireside and with Colectivo at my side, I still worked A LOT. I simply can’t keep going at that pace without losing my mind. I bet come fall, I will be ready to fiercely get back to business – topping out at 55 hours a week instead of what had become the norm. If workload permitIMG_3563s, I refuse to work past 1pm on Friday. I start this Friday – doing something I’ve never done.
  3. Work out more. Happiest I’ve ever been? When I look back – it’s always been at a time when I did whatever the hell I wanted and was slightly selfish ( lovely, I know). Senior year at Marquette I traveled downtown to the MKE gym every day at 6am (in college), sometimes twice a day – because I was in a zone. With music. Alone. Any kind of confusion/pain/worries faded away with the obnoxious sweating and fro of a hair do. I walked home blissfully unaware feeling the best kind of pain.
  4. Get outside. Although painfully afraid of sun after this difficult year for my sister, I live for the sun.history-slide I also love the rain. But one thing is for sure – I need to be outside just as much as a four year old does – summer nights were meant to be outside. I’ve made it happen. I dont know where I will always live – but I know that for as long as I live in this town, Cedarburg, WI – I need to fucking embrace every bit of beauty that is here. I’m 5 minutes from some of the most beautiful sites, often on my running path, and I need to run this town. And push a god damn 100 lb stroller along for laughs.1450784_629142787129238_821328487_n
  5. Feel the music. Again, if you go back to what makes people tick – concerts have always been my jam. The one thing that can make a stuffy Ann Taylor wardrobe fade away into Anthropologie on the weekends – tall boys, tailgates, and summer sounds. My goal is one show a week – even if it’s in our town and Tubby Love (which, I sort of loved).
  6. Just go. Weekends book out – but between the weddings and family celebrations – I’m going to combine three of my favorites – driving, music, and boys – and just get the hell out. Where to? Who knows. I have a list of 17 places I want to get to this summer – and it’s going to happen.IMG_3352

The beauty of all of this… is that come Sunday. I’m ready for work. I’m ready to focus again, and ready to keep going for whatever tomorrow brings, especially when each tomorrow leads me back to Friday night and summer sounds.